Love. God. Sex. Money.
These are the four most commonly used tools to manipulate people. Leaders & Entrepreneurs use these tools to accomplish their goal, but do not get used by them.
The most common example I see in relationship coaching is when one partner abuses another men in the name of love. Love is the most common abused word in the english language, more than often used for using the person it is directed to. The person using love will usually take a emotional high ground in order to manipulate the other, who usually acquiesces, until it’s enough. It’s a common tactic to use, ‘in order for you to get love from me, you need to do so & so’.
Historically, it has been God though. Before the advent of Romanticism, God was the most commonly used context to manipulate people. In the case of God, one party adopts the moral high ground in order to manipulate the other.
The third most common, socially taboo, yet universally present method is sex. In this case, one uses the lust of an individual to manipulate him/her.
Finally, the most common, socially accepted method used is money. Money is what we use to get people to do, what they typically otherwise would not.
I will write one article on each of these tools, in individual posts,, and addressing how leaders use these tools in relationship management, but at the same time, avoid being used by these tools. The core of this strategy lies in your relationship to the self and in your value system. This is an essential topic of discussion in my Self Discovery Retreat, and in my Relationship Management Webinars.